The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Weeks 1 through 3 - Collegeville MMIX

Collegeville MMIX Fantasy Football League

Cardinal Division

Standings
Valley W.A.S.P.S 2-1
Vanilla Shakes 2-1
Graham Avenue Gravediggers 1-2
London Silly Nannies 1-2

The Good
Arguably the toughest division entering the season, the Cardinal Division got off to a fast start going 3 and 1 during opening week. The division sports the league’s most consistent team in the Valley WASPS (87, 85, and 90 points in the first three weeks). The division is a respectable 6-6 after the first three weeks. The Cardinal Division also sports the #3 and #6 scoring teams in the W.A.S.Ps and Shakes, so look for these two teams to start to separate from the others in the coming weeks. Questions emerged early about the Vanilla Shakes’ draft – but so far their owner appears to have another solid squad even without McNabb and Welker.

The Bad
While the division has held its own thus far, much could be made of the fact that it has actually been outscored in total by their opponents (895 to 899). In fact, the division’s bottom feeder is actually the only team to have a positive difference (at +10). If this division wants to grab a hold of one of the wild cards for the playoffs, this trend will have to reverse.

As strong as the team is, the W.A.S.P.S don’t escape unscathed. They’re one of two teams to pick up a player they previously dropped (Earl Bennett).

The Ugly
What looked to be a promising squad entering the season, the London Silly Nannies have actually lived up to their team name. While I’m not a firm believer in changing a team name in order to try and mix things up, this is actually a situation where it might be wise. Although 1-2, the stats show the Nannies are frolicking down a dangerous path. Their only win is against a 0-3 team, and they’ve only scored 192 points (good for 11th in the league), and are second in the league in points given up (182). The Defensive Specialist award is one of the least coveted, but these co-owners are making a serious run at it. It's not that you don't want your opponents to have low scores, but you don't want them to have scores so low they take away from your victories. The season isn’t lost yet and they have talent, but they can’t expect their opponents to average 60.7 points a game for the rest of the season if they want to make the playoffs.

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Hold your chuckling Gravediggers, you’re not far behind (8th in points scored) and in another 3 weeks, you might be digging your own grave.

Team Theme Songs:
Valley W.A.S.P.S – Still Fly –Big Tymers
Vanilla Shakes – Pretty Fly for a White Guy – The Offspring
Graham Avenue Gravediggers – Something’s Missing – John Mayer
London Silly Nannies - That Don’t Impress Me Much – Shania Twain

White Division

Standings
Chapel Hill Salsa 2-1
Worthington Wolverines 2-1
Alabama Mud Sliders 2-1
Mississippi Mad Squabbles 1-2

The Good
Hands down, this is the strongest division in the league. With 3 teams at 2-1, the White Division has the top 2 scoring teams in the Salsa and Wolverines (304 and 271) and the only team to average over 100 points per week (Salsa). In fact, this early in the season there have five instances where a team has scored over 100 points in a week. Four of those scores have occurred in the White Division (Salsa 2, Wolverines 1, Mud Squabbles 1). It says something about your division when the team with worse record is the 4th highest scoring team in the league. The only thing stopping this division from having the number one team going into the post season might be the division play amongst themselves.

The Bad
The Mad Squabbles just completed a trade with the Mud Sliders (Bowe for Hester and Harvin) to try and revamp their WR corps. However, they now find themselves in a dangerous situation with no clear-cut #1 WR. With two studs at QB and nothing behind DeAngelo Willams in terms of RB, the Mad Squabbles might find themselves forced to deal in order to balance their team out. With the Salsa starting to emerge as the team to beat, look for increasing trade requests from this 1-2 team in near future.

Although not as troubling, but certainly noteworthy, is the Wolverines startling decline in points scored since their 125 outburst in Week 1 (81 in Week 2, 65 in Week 3). This trend isn’t expected to continue, but it does show that owner Darren Larsen might sport another streaky team this year. While it’s always good to have that potential, I think most people would rather have the consistency of the Valley W.A.S.P.S (at 87 pts per week) than the Wolverines boom or bust potential (90 pts per week).

The Ugly
The Mud Sliders are 2-1, but don’t let this record fool you into thinking that this team is ready to make a move to the top yet. Both wins have come against teams with a combined 1-5 record (see Malpractice, Gravediggers) and they are currently averaging just 69.3 points per game (a full 12 points behind the divisions current Cellar Dweller). There’s a chance Marshawn Lynch might help to right the ship, but we know Salsa owner MVB isn’t hoping for that. It should also be noted that the Mad Squabbles currently hold the 3rd highest negative point spread at -26. It’s ugly, but it’s certainly not the ugliest in the league…

Team Theme Songs
Chapel Salsa – Weapon of Choice – Fatboy Slim
Worthington Wolverines – Rollin’ – Limp Bizkit
Alabama Mud Sliders – The Pretender – The Foo Fighters
Mississippi Mad Squabbles – The Boxer – Waylon Jennings

The Blue Division

Standings
Abdul’s Number Crunch – 3-0
Juarez Cholos 2-1
Minnesota Malpractice 0-3
Garfield Thundercats 0-3

The Good
Hard to look much further than Abdul’s Number Crunch to find The Good in this division. Owner Andrew Stevens finds himself with the only undefeated team in the league entering Week 4. The Number Crunch have benefited from a potent squad and registered 108 points in Week 2. Had he started Frank Gore that week, he would have registered one of the highest weekly point totals in the history of the League. He currently finds himself in 5th for total points (just 28 points out of 2nd place), and right now all signs point to him having a 32.3% (repeating of course) chance of being a top 2 seed going into the playoffs. However, the percentage of the owner actually keeping this team name the whole season is much lower.

Although the owner took a lot of flak for auto-drafting after round 2, the Juarez Cholos are quietly enjoying a productive season, highlighted by a strong showing against the streaky Wolverines last week. I hate to say it as much as the next person, but the Cholos might actually prove to be a force to reckoned with as the season progresses.

The Bad
Ugh, where to start? The Blue Division has more headaches than the other 2 divisions combined. The Thundercats might have celebrated too early when the divisions were drawn early this summer, for they now find themselves part of an ugly two-headed 0-3 division monster. At first glance, Abdul’s league leading +77 point spread looks great, but digging deep you find he’s only given up 166 points (or a 55.3 pt per week avg) for the year. Maybe there is hope for the Silly Nannies after all. Collectively, the Blue Division sports a -63 point spread, which is worrisome for any division, but when your leader is +77 this becomes even more troubling.

South of the border, the Cholos are cheering. Had it not been for a mid-week trade with the Thundercats, the Cholos top 2 WR were not only from the same team (A. Johnson/Kevin Walter), but one had a bad hammy.

The Ugly
It’s very likely that the Thundercats and the Malpractice could have fielded better teams by lining up all NFL players at the bottom of a huge Plinko board and watch those crazy discs fall. The Malpractice are off to their second disappointing start in as many years and of all the teams in the league, they’ve played the teams with the combined 4 - 5 (Nannies, Mud Sliders, Mad Squabbles), which means those teams are 1-5 when they aren’t playing the Malpractice. Owner Adam Skemp tried to shake up his team with a trade to roommate and W.A.S.P.S owner Chris Erichsen, but unless things change soon the Malpractice could be looking at another long season.

If there was an award for the most beloved team in the league, the Thundercats would probably walk away with it. But that award doesn’t exist, and for the T-Cats, neither does a win. It doesn’t help losing 2 of their top 6 picks to injuries to start the season, but neither of those injuries excuse the pathetic 165 points (55.0 per week…9 points lower than the 11th team in the league!!!) through the first three weeks (although Braylon Edwards might). The -60 point spread isn’t attractive, and neither was their high of 77 points in week 2. So far, 2 of the 4 lowest scores have come from this squad (36 and 52), and if they want to make the playoffs, it’s going to take luck, luck, and then some more luck. The Thundercats made an all-or-nothing move for Tom Brady earlier in the week, and there may be more moves in the coming weeks. Let’s face it, if the Thundercats can bring themselves to trade Braylon Edwards – no player on that roster is safe from that phone call.

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Perhaps ugliest of all – it will be at least 2 weeks before all the teams in the league have a win. The Thundercats and the Malpractice face-off this weekend. Things will likely be tense in Apartment 325 through Monday.

Team Theme Songs
Abdul’s Number Crunch – Joyride – The Killers
Juarez Cholo’s – Lean Like a Cholo – Down AKA Kilo (What did you expect?)
Minnesota Malpractice – Square One – Coldplay
Garfield Thundercats – Everybody Hurts – R.E.M.

And finally…

The Noack (award for the ugliest stat of the first 3 weeks)

In week 3, the Chapel Hill Salsa’s bench had 88 points. In weeks 1 and 3 combined, The Garfield Thundercats starting lineup had 88 points…. Ouch.