The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly - Weeks 1 through 3 - Collegeville MMIX

Collegeville MMIX Fantasy Football League

Cardinal Division

Standings
Valley W.A.S.P.S 2-1
Vanilla Shakes 2-1
Graham Avenue Gravediggers 1-2
London Silly Nannies 1-2

The Good
Arguably the toughest division entering the season, the Cardinal Division got off to a fast start going 3 and 1 during opening week. The division sports the league’s most consistent team in the Valley WASPS (87, 85, and 90 points in the first three weeks). The division is a respectable 6-6 after the first three weeks. The Cardinal Division also sports the #3 and #6 scoring teams in the W.A.S.Ps and Shakes, so look for these two teams to start to separate from the others in the coming weeks. Questions emerged early about the Vanilla Shakes’ draft – but so far their owner appears to have another solid squad even without McNabb and Welker.

The Bad
While the division has held its own thus far, much could be made of the fact that it has actually been outscored in total by their opponents (895 to 899). In fact, the division’s bottom feeder is actually the only team to have a positive difference (at +10). If this division wants to grab a hold of one of the wild cards for the playoffs, this trend will have to reverse.

As strong as the team is, the W.A.S.P.S don’t escape unscathed. They’re one of two teams to pick up a player they previously dropped (Earl Bennett).

The Ugly
What looked to be a promising squad entering the season, the London Silly Nannies have actually lived up to their team name. While I’m not a firm believer in changing a team name in order to try and mix things up, this is actually a situation where it might be wise. Although 1-2, the stats show the Nannies are frolicking down a dangerous path. Their only win is against a 0-3 team, and they’ve only scored 192 points (good for 11th in the league), and are second in the league in points given up (182). The Defensive Specialist award is one of the least coveted, but these co-owners are making a serious run at it. It's not that you don't want your opponents to have low scores, but you don't want them to have scores so low they take away from your victories. The season isn’t lost yet and they have talent, but they can’t expect their opponents to average 60.7 points a game for the rest of the season if they want to make the playoffs.

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Hold your chuckling Gravediggers, you’re not far behind (8th in points scored) and in another 3 weeks, you might be digging your own grave.

Team Theme Songs:
Valley W.A.S.P.S – Still Fly –Big Tymers
Vanilla Shakes – Pretty Fly for a White Guy – The Offspring
Graham Avenue Gravediggers – Something’s Missing – John Mayer
London Silly Nannies - That Don’t Impress Me Much – Shania Twain

White Division

Standings
Chapel Hill Salsa 2-1
Worthington Wolverines 2-1
Alabama Mud Sliders 2-1
Mississippi Mad Squabbles 1-2

The Good
Hands down, this is the strongest division in the league. With 3 teams at 2-1, the White Division has the top 2 scoring teams in the Salsa and Wolverines (304 and 271) and the only team to average over 100 points per week (Salsa). In fact, this early in the season there have five instances where a team has scored over 100 points in a week. Four of those scores have occurred in the White Division (Salsa 2, Wolverines 1, Mud Squabbles 1). It says something about your division when the team with worse record is the 4th highest scoring team in the league. The only thing stopping this division from having the number one team going into the post season might be the division play amongst themselves.

The Bad
The Mad Squabbles just completed a trade with the Mud Sliders (Bowe for Hester and Harvin) to try and revamp their WR corps. However, they now find themselves in a dangerous situation with no clear-cut #1 WR. With two studs at QB and nothing behind DeAngelo Willams in terms of RB, the Mad Squabbles might find themselves forced to deal in order to balance their team out. With the Salsa starting to emerge as the team to beat, look for increasing trade requests from this 1-2 team in near future.

Although not as troubling, but certainly noteworthy, is the Wolverines startling decline in points scored since their 125 outburst in Week 1 (81 in Week 2, 65 in Week 3). This trend isn’t expected to continue, but it does show that owner Darren Larsen might sport another streaky team this year. While it’s always good to have that potential, I think most people would rather have the consistency of the Valley W.A.S.P.S (at 87 pts per week) than the Wolverines boom or bust potential (90 pts per week).

The Ugly
The Mud Sliders are 2-1, but don’t let this record fool you into thinking that this team is ready to make a move to the top yet. Both wins have come against teams with a combined 1-5 record (see Malpractice, Gravediggers) and they are currently averaging just 69.3 points per game (a full 12 points behind the divisions current Cellar Dweller). There’s a chance Marshawn Lynch might help to right the ship, but we know Salsa owner MVB isn’t hoping for that. It should also be noted that the Mad Squabbles currently hold the 3rd highest negative point spread at -26. It’s ugly, but it’s certainly not the ugliest in the league…

Team Theme Songs
Chapel Salsa – Weapon of Choice – Fatboy Slim
Worthington Wolverines – Rollin’ – Limp Bizkit
Alabama Mud Sliders – The Pretender – The Foo Fighters
Mississippi Mad Squabbles – The Boxer – Waylon Jennings

The Blue Division

Standings
Abdul’s Number Crunch – 3-0
Juarez Cholos 2-1
Minnesota Malpractice 0-3
Garfield Thundercats 0-3

The Good
Hard to look much further than Abdul’s Number Crunch to find The Good in this division. Owner Andrew Stevens finds himself with the only undefeated team in the league entering Week 4. The Number Crunch have benefited from a potent squad and registered 108 points in Week 2. Had he started Frank Gore that week, he would have registered one of the highest weekly point totals in the history of the League. He currently finds himself in 5th for total points (just 28 points out of 2nd place), and right now all signs point to him having a 32.3% (repeating of course) chance of being a top 2 seed going into the playoffs. However, the percentage of the owner actually keeping this team name the whole season is much lower.

Although the owner took a lot of flak for auto-drafting after round 2, the Juarez Cholos are quietly enjoying a productive season, highlighted by a strong showing against the streaky Wolverines last week. I hate to say it as much as the next person, but the Cholos might actually prove to be a force to reckoned with as the season progresses.

The Bad
Ugh, where to start? The Blue Division has more headaches than the other 2 divisions combined. The Thundercats might have celebrated too early when the divisions were drawn early this summer, for they now find themselves part of an ugly two-headed 0-3 division monster. At first glance, Abdul’s league leading +77 point spread looks great, but digging deep you find he’s only given up 166 points (or a 55.3 pt per week avg) for the year. Maybe there is hope for the Silly Nannies after all. Collectively, the Blue Division sports a -63 point spread, which is worrisome for any division, but when your leader is +77 this becomes even more troubling.

South of the border, the Cholos are cheering. Had it not been for a mid-week trade with the Thundercats, the Cholos top 2 WR were not only from the same team (A. Johnson/Kevin Walter), but one had a bad hammy.

The Ugly
It’s very likely that the Thundercats and the Malpractice could have fielded better teams by lining up all NFL players at the bottom of a huge Plinko board and watch those crazy discs fall. The Malpractice are off to their second disappointing start in as many years and of all the teams in the league, they’ve played the teams with the combined 4 - 5 (Nannies, Mud Sliders, Mad Squabbles), which means those teams are 1-5 when they aren’t playing the Malpractice. Owner Adam Skemp tried to shake up his team with a trade to roommate and W.A.S.P.S owner Chris Erichsen, but unless things change soon the Malpractice could be looking at another long season.

If there was an award for the most beloved team in the league, the Thundercats would probably walk away with it. But that award doesn’t exist, and for the T-Cats, neither does a win. It doesn’t help losing 2 of their top 6 picks to injuries to start the season, but neither of those injuries excuse the pathetic 165 points (55.0 per week…9 points lower than the 11th team in the league!!!) through the first three weeks (although Braylon Edwards might). The -60 point spread isn’t attractive, and neither was their high of 77 points in week 2. So far, 2 of the 4 lowest scores have come from this squad (36 and 52), and if they want to make the playoffs, it’s going to take luck, luck, and then some more luck. The Thundercats made an all-or-nothing move for Tom Brady earlier in the week, and there may be more moves in the coming weeks. Let’s face it, if the Thundercats can bring themselves to trade Braylon Edwards – no player on that roster is safe from that phone call.

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Perhaps ugliest of all – it will be at least 2 weeks before all the teams in the league have a win. The Thundercats and the Malpractice face-off this weekend. Things will likely be tense in Apartment 325 through Monday.

Team Theme Songs
Abdul’s Number Crunch – Joyride – The Killers
Juarez Cholo’s – Lean Like a Cholo – Down AKA Kilo (What did you expect?)
Minnesota Malpractice – Square One – Coldplay
Garfield Thundercats – Everybody Hurts – R.E.M.

And finally…

The Noack (award for the ugliest stat of the first 3 weeks)

In week 3, the Chapel Hill Salsa’s bench had 88 points. In weeks 1 and 3 combined, The Garfield Thundercats starting lineup had 88 points…. Ouch.

Update

And Then There Was One

I got my 3rd test back today! I can't believe this whole thing could be over in a week.

I'll try to get a big update in on Saturday this weekend. I've been kind of busy with work - well not so much work but just a lot of HR stuff.

Hope everyone is doing great!

Many Moons Later...

In my second biggest absence this blog has seen I went through and did a lot of things! I'm sorry for not getting an update between now and when I took my last test, I guess I sort of forgot about updating this in my hurry to see Leslie in Chicago

Auditing Test - My final exam. It went (I felt) the best of the 4 tests. I FLEW through the multiple choice questions - all 90 in about 90 minutes. I didn't want to go that fast, my review company recommended about 2 minutes for each question, but I was really finding the right answers and rarely had to read a question more than twice. So there I was with 3 hours left to complete the simulations (30 percent of the test). For the first time taking these tests time was on MY side. I made the most of it and left the test center 99% sure I passed the test.
It felt so good to be done. I hadn't experienced total relaxation in quite sometime, and although it might not seem like a particularly calm experience, I drove back on I-35 feeling the best I had in months.

I'll get my score sometime in the next 2-3 weeks, along with my Regulation score. I'm hoping for good things.
If you noticed, I only mentioned that I'd be receiving 2 scores in the next few weeks. That's because (as probably anyone reading this blog already knows) I got my first two test scores on Sunday when I returned from Texas.
Words can't describe what it was like getting myself to open the letter. I'd known it was in my room for the last 5 days, but I still wasn't sure when or how I wanted to look. For the next 5 minutes, my life went something like this:

I grabbed the envelope, then set it down, got some water, sat down, got some ice for my water, told myself I'd open it after I unpacked my bags, opened my luggage, looked back at the letter, opened my Xcel bill, went back to my luggage, and then finally grabbed the envelope without taking anything out of my bags.

I didn't want to look right away. I slowly took out the envelope's contents - wanting to look at the scores in the order I took it. As I was flipping over my BEC score I noticed an expiration date of 1/31/2011 and knew instantly I had passed. I flipped it over and saw an 85 staring right back at me. I passed!! I tried to calm my excitement knowing that I still had to look at my score on "The Beast". The sour feelings I felt as I left Prometric on that sunny July afternoon and told myself it was time to accept the inevitable. Looking for that 67, I was instead greeted with a friendly looking 80! I had passed both tests! The happiness was too much and I let out a big "YEA!!!" which caught the attention of Erichsen, who up to this point had been enjoying an otherwise quiet night.

I called my parents, called Leslie, I couldn't stop smiling. Don't ask me how I did it, but I'll never have to take the dreaded Financial exam ever again. Sweet, sweet, victory.

I unpacked my luggage the next morning.

Going backwards, I spent the last week and a half in Chicago and Dallas. I visited Leslie for 1 whole week, and accomplished many meaningful and important things such as: drafting my fantasy football team, playing on her flag football team the Saturday I was there, and watching Season 1 of Heroes. In the words of Peter Gibbons (Office Space), "I did nothing, and it was everything I imagined it could be". I was pretty much a couch potato and I was happy. Leslie didn't mind at all - I think she was happy I got hooked on Heroes after saying she was lame weeks before for getting hooked on it herself.

$65 later, I was out of my cab and walking into the O'Hare airport. I spent the remaining 4 days of my trip in Dallas for my Aunt's memorial service. It was really sad, but I think everyone was overall relieved to be able to grieve together. The whole thing is far from over, but the memorial service went very well and family and friends were able to get start to what is likely going to a long road to closure.

Nearly my entire family was there. Mike and Charlie weren't able to come because they just started school, but I really had a great time with everyone. I've never spent that much time with all my relatives for so many days in my row, but I felt like I got a lot closer to a lot of my family I don't see too often. It was sad saying goodbye to everyone, especially those who live in Texas, but I'm sure I'll go down there sometime soon.

Whew - this has been a long one. I could have written a ton more, but I probably wouldn't have many of you coming back very often. One more quick thing though: I start work tomorrow.

Whoa.

I hope you all enjoy this picture as much as I do.

Last Day Tomorrow!

Tomorrow will mark the end of the CPA exam (unless I don't pass 1 or more of the parts). I'm feeling really good about everything and am the least nervous I've been for any one of the tests.

I'll write how I feel about it tomorrow night or Thursday, but I'm glad I took this summer to at least give these things a shot. It hasn't been easy, but I know if I do have to re-take any of them I'm going to go into each one with a better idea of what I should have mastered!

Some News About My Test

Ok! I finally got through with NASBA and got an answer as to why my test results hadn't shown up yet. Apparently, NASBA never received my official transcript. Without this little piece of documentation, NASBA won't release my score.

After being notified of this problem, I immediately set out this morning to get my transcript sent straight to Nashville to get processed. I have NO idea how long this might take. I'm guessing my transcript will be sent Monday, will arrive in TN on Thursday, take about 2 weeks to process, and another week to receive my score. I'd love to say it'll move faster than this, but throughout this whole process of applying and sitting for the CPA exam I've discovered NASBA is anything but efficient.

While this is all tremendously unfortunate, you have no idea how relieved I am to at least have some "closure" to this situation. It sounds silly to be waiting for a score and getting so anxious, but it really is something else when it everyone is getting their score but you. Bottom line, I'm disappointed but at least now I can completely focus on my final test and try and get this son of a gun out of my life.

NASBA told me I'd be receiving my results in the mail at some point and there's a very good chance that I'll receive all four scores in one sitting (something that no one has experienced in this new age testing era). I can already picture the scene now: I'm sitting on my bed staring at the envelopes in my hands - knowing I'm 2 minutes away from absolute heartache and absolute exaltation.

I guess that's what makes life worth livin' though!

Favre

I ordered a Favre jersey.

This is going to be EPIC*.

*Get your popcorn ready!

Tomorrow's Monday!

...thank you Captain Obvious. Why am I so excited about Monday? I should know my first score by the days end. I'll get to see if all the work I put in to my first test paid off.

Whew. I'm feeling a bit of pressure, I'm going to feel horrible if I have to tell you I didn't pass. I'm confident though, it was tough not really knowing what to expect, but I studied that stuff as much and I felt extremely confident after the test was over. At the end of the day, that's all you can really do.

Time has a funny way of messing with us!